I didn't used to live where I do, now. I used to live in a small suburb of a much bigger city in a completely different state. I kind of miss the place, and some of the people. Once in a while I get hit with a great wave of nostalgia. (Like now.) So I got to wondering, what would I be like today if we hadn't had to move?
I moved in the summer between 7th and 8th grade, so most of my maturing happened after I moved. I think I would be a very different person.
In 8th grade, I would have either still had a hopeless crush on a boy we'll call Wolfcrush, or I would have asked Guyfriend out. Annoyingdude would still be annoying me in attempts to get my attention, all the while I would be cluelessly trying to figure out why he was so annoying. I would have stuck close to the few friends I still had, possibly to the point of annoying them so that they really didn't want to be my friends. In my neighborhood, all of my neighborhood friends would have started hanging out with Newgirl, mostly because she's new, but also because I would have ended up throwing a tantrum about how all of my friends were ignoring me now and they wouldn't want to spend too much time with me anymore, at least until the next summer. Towards the end of the school year, Annoyingdude might have asked me out by then, but probably not. I would be debating about whether to go to one high school because of their mascot or the other because of their choir teacher.
I would have chosen the one with the choir teacher. No matter which I decided on, I wouldn't know anyone there, or the people I would know wouldn't want to talk to me. I'd attempt to start over and make a good impression, but I'd fail miserably. Time away from my neighborhood friends would have veered me inside and to the computer, so I'd probably be a little bit heavier at the time, but also slightly more mature. I might have made two good friends in that first year of high school. My grades would be mostly As and Bs, but I'd probably have a couple of bad grades as well. (School seemed a lot easier to me after the move, whereas in the suburb I used to live in, school was getting harder.) People would still be calling me 'JK' instead of 'Kyrie'. I would have had one year with a really good choir teacher before he retired, but having lost a lot of my old friends, I might still have been a bit audition-shy. I wouldn't have gotten into any programs that help kids get into college. My brother wouldn't have moved out, or if he had, not gone as far away. I wouldn't have had a boyfriend, though I might have asked someone.
Throughout high school I might have made a few more friends and gotten slightly less quirky, not that it would make a difference since most of the people in my high school would already know me by my previous reputation. I might have dated one person, but it wouldn't have been all that serious. I might not have gone to college, or if I had, not have done so well, having not had the extra encouragement to do so well in high school. I wouldn't have developed my beliefs, having still had people pressuring Christianity onto me. For the same reason, I likely would still be struggling with my sexuality, or even trying to suppress it.
Some smaller differences: I would be a really good bowler. I'd have less experience in theater. I'd have learned Spanish, instead of German. I'd probably still want to be an elementary school teacher. I wouldn't have gotten into anime and manga. There would be no I Can Has Catboy!!!
Overall, I think I'm glad I moved. I'm not sure I like the kind of person I would have become if I hadn't moved... I think the Me That Could Have Been would be very shocked to see the person I have become... perhaps even jealous... So while it's nice to visit the past in your memories, don't forget to move on.
Until next time,
Cap'n Kyrie
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