Sunday, September 5, 2010

Letters to Life

(Disclaimer:  I am not genuinely addressing Life in these letters.  They are meant to be something for other humans to laugh at, not as something to be taken seriously.)

Letter One:

Dear Life,

Remember me?  It's Cap'n Kyrie.  Yeah, you've been treating me awfully nice, lately.  New boyfriend, very few class complications, a nice roommate.  I feel like I've been riding a cloud.  I'm loving it, and I would like to thank you...  However, I know how you work, and I know that this can't keep up, so how about, instead of trying to keep up the awesomeness to the point of crashing and something really bad happens and catches me unexpected...  How about instead of that, you allow yourself a little slip in my happy meter now and then.  Just a little one.  Keep me on my toes.  Overall, very good work!

Cap'n Kyrie

Letter Two:

Hey Life,

It's me, Cap'n Kyrie again.  This is a follow-up letter to the one I sent you commending you for your good work.  I would like to thank you for reminding me that I am human, and that minor slips in the happy meter are a part of the job description.  I won't be criticizing your work here anymore.  You're doing a fine job.  Just do what you do best.

Cap'n Kyrie

Letter Three:


It's Cap'n Kyrie.  This is a follow-up letter to my follow-up letter concerning my happy meter.  I would like to thank you for clarifying that not only am I human, I am female, and that minor slips on the happy meter are not only a part of the job description, they are a regular occurrance.  I... really... appreciate your memo... really.  This letter is to tell you that I won't be bothering you at work anymore... ever... ever... again.

Thank you,
Cap'n Kyrie